Gay Wedding Roles

Choosing your best man/best woman, bridesmaid, ushers or witnesses can be an emotional time. Where possible be sure to pick someone you feel comfortable with and can trust. Of course it is most acceptable in gay marriage for male partners to choose a best man each and indeed for lesbian couples to have a selection of bridesmaids or a best man/woman. One of the great things about same-sex marriage is pretty much anything goes - boundaries are most definitely crossed and so if a lesbian couple wish to have a 'best man' then so be it. For a smooth running wedding it is important that everyone involved in the big day delivers their part. To ensure this happens everyone should know and understand what part they are expected to play.

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Role of the Witnesses

The law requires you to be accompanied by at least two credible witnesses at your wedding, these will sign the register after the wedding ceremony. Witnesses may be relatives, friends or colleagues. Although there is no legal age limit to a witness, many civil ceremony attendances would prefer that the witnesses are 18 years or over. Your chosen witnesses should understand in advance that you have chosen them for this special responsibility.

Role of the Usher

Ushers are chosen by the grooms and are commonly close relatives or friends. Traditionally the ushers are the responsibility of the best man who should ensure they know their duties on the day which include greeting guests, handing out buttonholes, order of service sheets and drinks.

Role of the Bridesmaid

The bridesmaid(s) is usually a sister or close friend of the brides or grooms. She will liaise with the brides on all the wedding preparations and ensure the bouquets are ready, help with hair and make-up, hold the brides bouquets during the ceremony and distribute slices of wedding cake to the guests.

Flower Girls & Page Boys

The flower girl is essentially a young bridesmaid whose job it is to walk down the aisle and spread flower petals or confetti for the brides or grooms to walk on.

The page boy will do a similar role to the flower girl and it’s up to you if you choose to give your pageboy a particular role. Think about the age of the child and how well behaved he will be on the day.

Your page boy can also act as a ring bearer presenting the rings to you on a specially made cushion. Whoever is in charge of the rings should lay the rings on the cushion at the latest opportunity – do not give the role of minding the rings to the page boy.

Parents Role at a Gay Wedding

Father of the Brides
This is a proud day for the fathers of the brides at a lesbian wedding. Your daughters are getting married to each other and committing to a loving life together. Nowadays it’s not about having deep pockets especially with a lesbian wedding as there is no groom just two brides and that means two fathers to help out financially.

This is often a really emotional day for daughter and dad so your role should include being there for your daughter in the build up to wedding and also on the big day. You may also be asked to do a small speech while sat at the head table. If this is something you are comfortable with then it can be a great opportunity to tell your daughter how proud you are of her, how much you care for her partner and how much you have enjoyed bringing her up and seeing her bloom into a beautiful woman.

Mothers of the Happy Couple
Seeing your child get married to the person they love is one of the greatest moments in any parents life. The fact that you show your support to your son or daughter by attending their wedding demonstrates to them and all of their guests that you love them for who they are and that will mean more than anything or any organising you can do on the day.

Our advice is to just be there for your son or daughter and their partner, relax and enjoy the day.

Best Man's Speech

Often one of the highlights everyone looks forward to (apart from the best man) is the best man’s speech. This can be a really daunting task but the best man’s speech is often one of the best parts of a wedding.

You will have to stand up in front of a room full of people but all those people are really appreciative of what you are doing and if you can deliver a speech that is both emotional and witty you will be Mr or Mrs Popular.

Tips for the Best Man's Speech

  • Open your speech by addressing the bridal party and the guests. Don’t forget to compliment how great the bride and bride or groom and groom look.

  • Explain to everyone who you are and how you know the bride and bride or groom and groom

  • Say something funny at the brides and grooms expense (don’t be too cruel)

  • Recite an entertaining story about the brides or grooms

  • Let the guests know a little inside information about the brides or grooms – this is a great chance to show your emotional side and let everyone know how much they love each other.

  • Pay a sincere tribute to the brides or grooms and have all the guests join you in leading a toast to the brides or grooms.

Being asked to be a best man is a great honour so if the bride and bride or groom and groom ask you to be their best man then congratulations to you. It can also be a very daunting task so we are here to help with all the advice you will need.

Best Man
As well as organising the stag or hen party the best man is responsible for preparing a speech for the reception, ensuring any special seating arrangements for family members, checking timings and parking arrangements at the wedding venue. At the wedding ceremony itself the best man should assist the photographer in organising any photographs of the guests and ensure that everyone has transport to the reception venue. At the reception he should stand in line greeting the guests and announce the speeches and cake cutting as well as reading out any cards or email messages. The final thing (and commonly most nerve racking for the best man) is the final speech.

Can we have two best men?
If you and your partner have more than one close friend of family member who you would like to offer the position of best man for your wedding then you can of course choose two people. The two chosen best men can share any duties and responsibilities they are given.

If you have not been asked to escort the bride and bride or groom and groom down the aisle then your other two major duties will be to hand over the rings and of course make a witty speech during the reception.

Other Useful Articles:

Best Man or Best Woman?

Best Man's Speech

Top Tips for the Best Man's Speech

Parents Role at a Gay Wedding

Role of the Usher

Role of the Bridesmaid

Flower Girls & Page Boys

Role of the Witnesses